can I just say what I mean?

how can I say this without sounding like a complete and total asshole?
I will never intend to hurt you with my words or my thoughts or my heart.
but my heart is too hurt, to hurt anyone else.

because my heart is always in my throat nowadays, and it always, always hurts in some way.
'would you give all your love for a run at the past with me?'

I feel like I'd be stronger if each sign wasn't always contradicted, so I could know what was going on in some way, and not have the whole entire truth turn around the next day.

the truth is, I know the truth. and I can't bear to break your heart with the truth even if you already broke mine with your truth.

I'd rather be the one caught in the crossfire.
but maybe this is just a taste of my selflessness..