i'm getting laid by the strong dick of addiction

okay. so this posting shit is kind of addicting.
so i thought i'd describe myself to myself.
just to get everything out.
i've been single for about 8 months and i think i know why, but everyone constantly tells me reassurances that i know aren't true.
i really, really love music. if there is one thing that will make me connect to a person besides rocket power, it would be a good conversation about music and the failing music industry, about r.e.m and the underground electronica scene that's sending shockwaves through my body just right now, how my parents won't let me go to two shows a weekend anymore, and my punishment for bad grades is no shows at all. i'll talk about how one metallica riff could be the same exact one as another, just with a different tempo and one single note missing. i could talk all night about third string productions and how much the world misses blink-182, about meeting tom delonge and working merch tables.
i'm not one who's big on myself, because music is better and deserves more attention. it's done more and saved more lives.
i'm a person who likes to help& listen to everyone else but occasionally i have my moments.
i'm extremely fucking paranoid of losing everyone i know.
my brother is the most amazing person even if he does make me cry a lot.
and i also think that jewelry is gross. i'm a pretty easy lady to deal with.
i really like movies. my favorites would have to be; i heart huckabees, rocket science, the squid and the whale, fight club, the whale rider, happenstance, amelie, nanny mcphee, juno, pocahontas, speed racers, babe, selena, collateral... it's just a growing list.
my pet peeve are people who put themselves down just for attention.
all of my friends have left me/abandoned me at some point. i trust them without knowing what they could possibly do.
like any person, i have a few deep dark secrets. and like any person, i don't talk about them.
i'm known to be mature for my age. i get that alot. i wonder if it means i'm throwing my childhood away.
and that's all i am so far.

my very first post?

i've been writing a lot lately, whether it be good or not, and a friend told me to post/make this private blog thing for him. so here goes.. criticism allowed/necessary.

Will I Breathe

and in your right ventricle
i'll make a bed out of your tissues
and blood and oxygen
and live quite uncomfortably
because i need to be known
all the time
so you can't
forfuckinget.
so when you run out of space for me
will i be able to breathe?
your doors will close on me
my answer is yes to most of
the questions i'd wish you to ask
so when you run out of space for me
will i be able to breathe?
because i left my stuff at home
but my heart is nestled by yours
so you'd think i'd have more
space
but when you talk to me
yeah, you know
i
cannot
breathe.