my very first post?

i've been writing a lot lately, whether it be good or not, and a friend told me to post/make this private blog thing for him. so here goes.. criticism allowed/necessary.

Will I Breathe

and in your right ventricle
i'll make a bed out of your tissues
and blood and oxygen
and live quite uncomfortably
because i need to be known
all the time
so you can't
forfuckinget.
so when you run out of space for me
will i be able to breathe?
your doors will close on me
my answer is yes to most of
the questions i'd wish you to ask
so when you run out of space for me
will i be able to breathe?
because i left my stuff at home
but my heart is nestled by yours
so you'd think i'd have more
space
but when you talk to me
yeah, you know
i
cannot
breathe.